First Failure

I stopped showing up. And this is ,by NO means, my first failure. Nearly 1 month ago, I said I would write everyday and for the last 2 weeks I have thought about writing every stinking day. Some of the things you (the non-existant "you") are: The oil, the bread, the wine. Welcome to the Skagit. 3 miles of windbreaker-free jogging to reach the chile, bananas, and gatorade at the finish line. This is West Seattle people. Move. 36 feet in the house; The making of a home. Maybe some day when my brain gets plugged we can-recap a few of these. Right now, let's talk music and books. Oh wait, NO. Lets talk about the crazy lady that snarled at me while walking to work this morning. Some days I take the bus to The Skagit to work. From the station, there's about a 1/2 mile walk to the office. It's uphill and this is always humbling but this morning it was sunny and cool so I was just happy to be soaking in the vitamin D (more than the 800mgs that I had already popped before my coffee). Walking along, I passed an older woman dressed in pastel topped with a hand knitted pink hat half on. I said good morning and she smiled....then she snarled and started waving her hands around and walking after me...fast! Now, there have been a number of times where I've been in similar situations (well the mentally unstable wandering my direction making strange sounds at least) but the contrast was wild. She smiled so dearly, then started walking (did I mention FAST) after me. Fearing she would wander into the road, my adrenaline kicked in and I hollered to her to watch out for the car then quickly scooted around the corner of the building. I am not afraid of old ladies, nor do I try to avoid those who are unable to control their language, bodies, or faces. What tipped me over the edge was a friend of mine who had told me about his phobia of grandma's. He has a serious phobia of old ladies....for JUST THIS REASON. I started laughing and didn't stop until I reached the office. There the story was shared. Not at her expense, to clarify. AN enjoyment of humanity. Of all the unpredictability of it. The messiness and unknown of it. That a greyed and paled 80 year old who may have not taken her meds can rev an adrenaline packed response from a 30 year old, just hopping off the bus and entering reality for the day. I am so glad to have "met" her. She waved...I suppose that counts as meeting. Today a good one. Overall, winters are getting harder to stay cheery through. I am learning about my nature; a selfish, crabby, and funked young lady. These things are all in me. They do not define me though. Thankfully, there is more. There is TRUTH and there are levels of this Good News of Christ that I have not known and haven't needed to. Some islands that I got to stand on today were: Jean Vanier's book; Our Life Together Iron and Wine, Boy with a Coin Wintersleep, Weighty Ghost And folks...we've got pictures. I will post some next time.